Monday, April 21, 2008

White flag

I surrender. I give up. I lose

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

As You Like It Quote of the Day

Touchstone: Nay, if I keep not my rank,

Rosalind: Thou losest thy old smell.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

The Hills are Alive, But They Are Not Laughing

Some forces are simply too powerful to stop - like earthquakes, runaway trains, adolescent boys near food... Most uncontrollable of all in my book, however, is humor. How am I supposed to know when something is going to strike me funny? I harbor no humor defense system. Never wanted one, quite frankly.

So, this is why, sitting in an auditorium on Sunday afternoon with my daughter, waiting for our high school's production of The Sound of Music to begin, I became concerned. Written boldly in the program in the helpful section referred to as "Theater Etiquette" was this warning: Laugh only at appropriate times.

"How am I supposed to know if it is an appropriate time?!" I nervously asked my daughter. "What if I think it is appropriate, and no one else does?"

I'm pretty serious about rules. I hold the opinion that good manners dictate respect for authority. But this one was tough. Even if I wanted to, I wasn't sure that I COULD comply! Historical reports reveal a poor appropriate laughter record.

There was the inappropriate bug earring hysteria during a church service back in '86, as well as the "Unto You, O Lord, Do We Lift Up Dale Whampam" hilarity judged unfit by our youth minister who glared at us in the rear view mirror of the church van.

Then there was the uproarious display at the movie theater during Stranger Than Fiction. Apparently, there were no other writers (or wannabes) in the house that afternoon.

Why, just yesterday I was simply walking into Weis Markets when I saw a sign which read "Passover Display Inside" right next to a "fresh pork" ad. No one else nearby seemed to find that to be appropriate humor, either.

I thought the crowd at the high school musical on Sunday was a little dead. Maybe they were struggling to ward off a Sunday afternoon nap. Perhaps the swell of the live pit band obscured some of the more humorous lines. Maybe, sitting in a play recounting the terrors of the Nazi regime, they were simply afraid of breaking the rules.